The war in Ukraine has cast a long shadow over the lives of those who remain, with romance and parenthood becoming distant dreams for many. In a country where marriage and birth rates are already declining, the ongoing conflict has forced Ukrainians to reconsider their life choices and future plans.
Daria, a 34-year-old woman from Kyiv, shares her experience of navigating the dating scene amidst the war. "I haven't had a proper date since before the war," she confesses. With millions of Ukrainian women building new lives abroad and hundreds of thousands of men absent due to military service or emigration, the dating pool has become significantly smaller and more complex.
Khrystyna, 28, from Lviv, echoes this sentiment. She notices a noticeable absence of men, especially those of fighting age, who often stay indoors to avoid conscription. "Many are afraid to go out now," she says, highlighting the challenges faced by those seeking romantic connections.
For soldiers like Ruslan, serving in the Kharkiv region, the uncertainty of war makes long-term commitments feel irresponsible. "What can I actually offer a girl right now?" he asks, expressing the limitations of his circumstances.
Daria breaks down her options, which include men trying to avoid conscription, soldiers in long-distance relationships, and those under the conscription age of 25. However, none of these scenarios appeal to her, leaving her feeling discouraged.
The consequences of this disruption are far-reaching. Since the start of the invasion, marriage rates have plummeted, and Ukraine has experienced a significant increase in deaths and emigration. The birth rate has also taken a dramatic hit, with a record low of 0.9 children per woman, far below the replacement rate.
Oleksandr Hladun, a demographer, describes these trends as the "social catastrophe of war." He warns that the effects of the war will linger long after the hostilities end, potentially reducing Ukraine's population to 25.2 million by 2051, less than half of what it was in 1992.
Even committed couples like Olena, a policewoman and military instructor, face challenges. She and her husband are freezing her eggs due to health issues, and the uncertainty of war has put their plans to start a family on hold. "During the first year of the war, it felt as if everything had stopped," she says, expressing the impact of the conflict on their dreams.
Dr Liubov Mykhailyshyn, Olena's gynecologist and clinic director, shares her concerns about the war's impact on the fertility of young Ukrainians. Chronic stress, sleepless nights, and physical and psychological trauma can all contribute to fertility problems, which may further affect birth rates in the future.
The Ukrainian government has developed strategies to tackle these issues, including affordable childcare and housing. However, the success of these policies relies on local authorities, and as long as the dangers of war persist, state-level efforts may face challenges.
With 17 million fewer people than when Ukraine gained independence, the country's population decline poses a security threat, according to Hladun. "Russia is simply demographically much larger," he argues, highlighting the resources Russia has for war.
As the war continues, the uncertainty surrounding Ukraine's future becomes increasingly painful. "Planning a future feels fragile, almost naive," Daria says. "I've come to accept that I might stay alone, not because I want to, but because war reshapes what feels possible."
In a country grappling with the aftermath of war, learning to live with uncertainty becomes a form of survival, a testament to the resilience of the Ukrainian people.
